The night's come again, my dear boy, and this time it's for good.
Don't worry, your legs going out from under you is supposed to happen.
Come here, sweetheart.  Come close.  I know.  This is weird.

Now your weight is pressed against me,
now your enlarged heart is echoing life in your chest,
now you can only stare straight ahead while we wait for
the rest.  Minutes pass.  
Lock eyes for the last time.  There are whole skies
in them.  Always have been.  Stars wheeling around, rearranging, wind through the wail
of our days together, loud laughter and wet mornings with soaking dews.
I hit you once.  I hope you didn't hold that against me.
Just lean into me.  He'll be back soon and this will be over.
Thank you for saving my life back there.  We had our time and I'll 
always cherish it.  It's not your fault I couldn't keep you afterwards.

The light is flickering annoyingly at irregular intervals.
Doctor back.
Can you still see that?
Second injection.

Your soft pink tongue leaks out of a numb mouth.  Can't stop crying.
 
No moment, just all and then none.  He's gone before half the liquid's in.
We are with each other here and forever.  This 
lasts, I tell myself.  This lasts.  And, never again.  But there will be again.

We'll let have you have as much time as you need.  Just leave him here when you're done.  We'll take care of the rest.

Okay.  Thank you.
 
You're the most innocent being I've ever known and I'm sorry 
for this.  I know you don't understand.  I don't really either.  This or anything.
At least it was in my arms.  Most don't
get that.  At times lately that has seemed the most selfish thought
I've ever had.

I lay him on his right side.  Facing north.  Close his eyes.  Close the door.





I miss you, jaxypants.